The world he knew seemed to fall apart like a pointillist image turning into confetti. Images broke up into meaningless colored dots, eventually landing on the gray surface beneath.
He stood, surrounded by the recycleable paper snippets of his world. His thoughts spinned like blue shadows orange streetlights rotated through passing cars, blurring into a featureless stream.
He continued to stare in disbelief at the dusty paper snippets interfering with the perfection of the smooth gray surface. The diffuse light made them look dull. Sweeping a few confettis away with his foot, crumpling and folding some, he sat down and closed his eyes.
A vast emptiness was expanding inside, names, judgements, discriminations, borders merging into one and fading. The distinction between inside and outside ceased to exist, the very concepts vanished, merging into the oneness he was now part of, consuming the shell of consciousness that was him, transforming it into a state of simultaneous affirmation and denial of existance.
"Wú", it thought.
His eyes followed the red trail of taillights, refracted and blurred by the mesh of raindrops slowly trickling down the window surface. The glass reflected his room, awkwardly moving its image into mid-air, with the stream of red seemingly flowing through. They all moved as if unknowingly driven by a force alike to the raindrops now forming a new kind of mesh --It did not matter - gravity pulled them apart, they interconnected anew- He would go. He focused on a drop. It refracted - the world. A gray sphere with a fine string of red dots. - all there is, he thought. But where did they move? He knew the answer- He felt squeezed in a shell. Outside the shell.. . He inspected the unlit cigarette in his hand. The mesh of raindrops on the other side of the glass overlayed faintly on the texture of the cigarette paper. A collage of shades of gray.
The glowing cigarette a red dot - probably the only static one - faded to a strange color of gray-red as he finished a drag. Dragons of smoke emerged, faded out. The red dots outside moved, blurring into rainy grayness at the horizon. A raindrop merged with another, gave way to gravity, then dropped out of view.
A gray shell.
She was not there.